The EPM Story

I was groomed in middle to upper-middle class America. “White collar,” if you will, if not just plain white everything. Socially conservative, premiums placed on traditional education paths, much care placed on outward (social) appearances. (Although, looking back, I now think much of that was due to my dad’s overwhelming, unquenchable need to fit in – since he had been trying to disguise his sexuality since his own childhood.)

High school diploma…. Purdue Engineering… Toyota Design Engineering…

The I had to walk away from it. Cold turkey. That was back in 1998. Seems like five lifetimes ago, yet it seems like yesterday.

Before I actually quit, and ever since, something has been compelling my soul – pulling me, driving me – like this ginormous supermagnet larger than any magnet you’ve ever seen before.

I could not – and still cannot – escape the gravitational pull of this, this magnet that is constantly tugging at my mind. It consumes me. Better said, it is me. It has become everything I am and do, every single moment of my life.

You see, I have no choice but to follow this path – because I could not sleep, I could not function, I could not live – if I wasn’t following it.

But where it is exactly leading me, in terms of definitions and categories, I know not. I only know for certain that I am following my unique identity’s path. It is an invisible path to my naked eyes (and very often to those around me, too), but it is a path that I can see with my imagination with my inner ears and eyes. Typically, I see the future just one day at a time. One step at a time.

I’ve always been addicted to reading (from the cereal boxes at the breakfast table as a kid, to books galore, to twitter today). But what can I not stop reading if I tried? People.

I don’t try to, I don’t think to, I often don’t want to. But I just do. I observe and read People like I breathe oxygen – without even thinking about it or being able to stop. It’s just what I do. (So if you don’t want your innermost thoughts and desires known, don’t come around me! I’ll pick up on it in an instant, and I won’t be able to refrain from telling you.)

I can tell if you’re happy – or if you’re settling – in that instant.

Some EQ tests I’ve taken have placed me in the top 1% of reading People, places and situations.

Thank goodness, because my engineering skills were mediocre – at best. It’s nice to be good at something.

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